“Listen to those who have come before you.”
Sounds like an ancient Chinese proverb, but it was really the impetus for me to set up an informal get-together for parents. I called it “Veterans and Virgins,” and I invited parents who has just witnessed their child complete the college-admissions process and some nervous parents getting their feet wet for the first time.
The “virgins” had lots of questions – no surprise. They wanted advice on the most important extracurricular activities, the applications’ difficulty, the toughest parts of the process and more.
My veterans were Elly Ostrow, mother of Rachel Ostrow, a 2010 Myers Park High School graduate and now a cadet at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy, and Stamie Despo, mother of Alexander Despo, a 2010 Marvin Ridge High School graduate and a soon-to-be freshman at Wingate University. Both Ostrow and Despo were calm and very relieved to be on their end of the college application process. Ostrow has a rising high school junior and senior, though, so she will continue to be in the throes of this for the next two years!
Rachel and Alexander each applied to more than 10 colleges and universities, and both moms thought that, although that many applications created a lot of work, it was worth the effort.
Rachel’s college admissions process was further complicated by her interest in – and subsequent applications to – four of the U.S. service academies. “The nomination and selection process at the academies really forced us to be more organized.” her mother said. “It was tough at first, but it ended up being a good thing.”
Alexander had a varied college list that included small, mid-size and large schools. Despo shared that they learned that Alexander felt more comfortable in an environment where he would be more than a wallflower. “Recognizing this spurred him to apply to several honors programs at larger schools because he felt a focused program would be a great way to make a big school smaller.”
When the “virgins” asked whether the campus visits were worth the time, energy and expense, both “veteran” moms gave a resounding yes. “Meeting students face-to-face, sitting in on classes and even staying overnight in the dormitories were all phenomenally valuable experiences,” Ostrow said.
Dealing with the financial aspects of college proved to be somewhat of a stumbling block. Despo said, “We snowballed ourselves into thinking money wasn’t an issue. We didn’t want to deprive him of any choices, and yet as we moved through the process, we realized that that just wasn’t feasible.” Both moms recommended dealing with the financial realities at the onset and structuring a college list that accurately reflects the chances of scholarships – and what you’re willing to pay.
When asked “What do you know now that you wish you knew then?” Despo quickly responded, “I know my son. He knows himself better. It was a journey. It was a tug-of-war at times, there were tears, there was laughter but we both have an appreciation of what the other was going through, it’s all good.”
www.collegeadmissionsstrategies.com
Read more: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/07/27/1584244/parents-pass-along-lessons-from.html#ixzz0uslX4OvM
